One of the most interesting insights we can glean from organizing guru Marie Kondo is that “tidying is the act of confronting yourself.” Tidying here refers to decluttering—the act of disposing and giving away unwanted or unnecessary items.
Her statement reveals just why decluttering can seem like such an arduous task for the average person. More than confronting inanimate objects, decluttering is about confronting ourselves.
But what about ourselves are we actually confronting?
Unfinished projects
According to professional organizer Andrew Mellen, “Clutter is nothing more than a series of deferred decisions stacked on top of each other.” And it’s true. Clutter usually comes in the form of items we have yet to decide what to do about.
Decluttering requires that we confront the decisions we’ve deferred—decisions like when to give away the clothing we’ve outgrown (ASAP), which Christmas gifts to keep (fewer than we think), and whether or not to return an ex’s things back to them (most probably).
Unrealized dreams
Most of us keep things around because they allow us to indulge our “fantasy selves.” Our fantasy selves are the people we wish we were but, for some reason, just aren’t. Our fantasy selves keep things around that our actual selves just aren’t interested in using.
So there’s no need to keep fifty cookbooks around when you can barely stand five minutes in the kitchen. Keeping such things isn’t just a waste of space; it’s often a burden as well. Stuff reserved for our fantasy selves only causes us pangs of guilt when we realize that we haven’t used so much of our stuff despite earnestly meaning to.
Unsettled issues
There are also cases in which our clutter represents unsettled issues within ourselves. We hold onto things simply because we can’t bear to throw them away, not really because we want to keep them. Clutter caused by unsettled issues usually involves a painful or confusing experience.
Breakups, divorces, terminations, and lost opportunities—the list goes on and on. Clutter is a physical manifestation of procrastination, and sometimes the reasons for delay can be severe. Letting go can be an arduous, time-consuming process, but be assured that the process is also a liberating one.
Taking all these things into account, it’s easy to see how a cluttered room can give us nagging feelings that won’t let us rest. When our brain sees something out of place, it will naturally urge us to do something about the situation. Yet while we don’t have to solve everything all at once, it helps to know that decluttering is one way we can move forward.
