On the surface, decluttering seems like a pretty straightforward affair—choose what to keep, discard the rest, then get on with life. However, this isn’t the case for most people. For some, each step of decluttering feels uncomfortable, even agonizing. Others are prone to second guessing and sentimentalizing. And though a blessed few may display amazing detachment and objectivity when it comes to decluttering, a majority of us still deal with an array of emotions while clearing out clutter.
The good news is that it’s totally natural. Our emotions play a surprisingly big role in the decluttering process. And while listening to our emotions can be helpful as we declutter, blindly letting our emotions rule can lead us horribly astray.
The truth is, most people hoard or keep things out of fear, not necessity—and that fear is the fear of missing out (or FOMO). Whether you’re a certified hoarder or simply feel the burden of having too much stuff, you’re probably holding onto certain things out of a strange sense of obligation. Here are a few pieces of advice you might find helpful for dealing with those last stubborn piles of clutter.
Don’t confuse potential benefit for actual benefit
For the most part, we hold onto things that don’t truly serve us because we’re scared that we’re missing out on some potential benefit we have yet to harness. Unfortunately, potential benefit isn’t the same as actual benefit. While it’s true that we might benefit from scraps of gift wrapping paper, the personal hobby projects we’ve felt guilty instead of excited about, and those pairs of jeans we’ll lose enough weight to fit into eventually, there’s no guarantee we’ll ever experience those benefits ourselves.
This isn’t to say that every item you own should be strictly functional or practical. There’s always room for decor, personal collections (books, toys, etc.), and even sentimental items. But one important question we ought to ask while decluttering is: “Will keeping this item make me happy and healthy?” If the answer is no (and if the item in question makes you feel unnecessarily stressed, nervous, or obliged), then it’s probably in your best interest to let the item go.
Consider the hidden costs of your FOMO
Our fear of missing out has a way of eating into our valuable resources. We spend surprising amounts of time, energy, and money in order to use and maintain our personal possessions. That said, many of the things we keep in order to improve our quality of life can actually detract from our lives overall because they don’t do their jobs well enough to justify the cost of us keeping them.
Do you actually use that treadmill? Do you simply buy a new notebook when you need one instead of looking through the countless empty notebooks you already have? Will you actually love and benefit from the item you want to keep, or do you just like the idea of having the item around?
We hold onto things that don’t truly serve us because we’re scared that we’re missing out on some potential benefit we have yet to harness. Unfortunately, potential benefit isn’t the same as actual benefit.
The more fearful we are of missing out, the more we’ll purchase and hoard items we perceive to have any potential benefit for our lives—until we realize they don’t actually improve our lives in the way we thought they would. If there’s anything we ought to fear, we should fear losing our time, energy, and money to things that aren’t making us happier or healthier. Make sure to consider the hidden costs of keeping an item, and decide for yourself whether the costs are worth it.
Say no to say yes to what’s most important
If you think about it, the process of letting go is really an exercise in prioritizing. Saying no allows us to say yes to things we otherwise wouldn’t be able to, because we would have been too busy spending time on the wrong things (or people, wink wink). Let go of the things that aren’t worth your attention, so that you can make room for what truly matters most to you.
So choose to miss out—and don’t think twice! You’ll probably have another chance to buy those craft supplies when you need them, and you’ll probably want to buy fresh new clothes by the time you drop those 30 pounds. Learn to let go of those “what if” items confidently, and you might just find that there was nothing to be scared of in the first place.
